"How do I lose weight fast?"

I guess the best way to do that is...

... chopping off a limb? That's an instant 10+kg lost right there.

Ok no no bad joke please don't. But also please don't chase for fast weight loss. Any "fast" weight loss tactic usually involves something extreme and unsustainable. All you get from chasing fast results is a number on the scale if you're lucky. You don't learn anything from the process. The moment you reach your goal the panic starts.

Panic cos you stop doing that extreme thing, and your weight starts to rebound back day by day. I've seen that scenario so many times. In myself, in family and friends, in those I've coached.

Losing weight is a lifelong journey. It's so so much beyond a mere number on the scale. It's dabbling with your relationship with yourself. Getting yourself to do the things you gotta do even when you're feeling at your absolute low. Reward yourself when you start to genuinely see how hard you're working to get yourself closer to your goals.

It's working on your relationship with food. Being OK with enjoy food you love without the guilt and anxiety. And also remembering to pack in the nutrient rich whole foods you know your body needs to function on a day to day basis. It's knowing when it's OK to indulge, when it's needed be mindful to fuel your body with its needs.

It's a long long process of relationship building. Relationship with yourself, your relationship with food. These are the anchors of sustainable weight loss. It's not some secret formula, some secret recipe, or exercise.

It's building sustainable habits that you can carry with you 5 years from now.

Stop chasing for speed. Stop looking for fast. Focus on today. Give it your maximum effort. Then do it again tomorrow, and the next day. Again, and again, and again.

Before you know it, you're gonna be right next to your goals.

Stop worrying about how long it’ll take. Worry about how consistent you are with your plan.

So… how consistent are you so far?

The Mindset of Losing Weight & Getting Fit

Focus on the process, not the results.

It took me a long time to understand the concept. I've heard it a lot of times, but didn't really know what it meant. During my 123kg days, I was always focused on the results. I was concerned on what the scale said more than anything else during the process.

I ignored how I felt emotionally, I ignored my energy levels, I ignored how loose clothes started to feel. I was zoned in one the scale number, nothing else. I remember vividly a few instances where I wake up feeling great. Go to the mirror feel I look a tad smaller. Clothes I'm feeling felt looser, but the moment I stepped on the scale, there was no change...

... and I would just lose it.

Lose it not in the sense of go on a rampage of rage, but just completely roller coaster from feeling good to feeling like absolute crap. From being kinda happy with myself to hating myself, all cos of the number on the scale. Then I'd do a bunch of extreme stuff (starve myself, ungodly amounts of working out) which ultimately lead to binges and just a cycle of failure and unhappiness.

This weight loss journey I was one, this one that I lost over 50kg, is the first time I wasn’t as fixated on the scale like I was used to. I mean yes, the scale weight still bothered me tons, but I put so much more emphasis on my process this time. Thinking back, I believe I was inspired by something Will Smith once said:

“You don’t set out to build a wall. You don’t say ‘I’m going to build the biggest, baddest, greatest wall that’s ever been built’. You don’t start there. You say, ‘I’m going to lay this brick as perfectly as a brick can be laid.’ You do that every single day. And soon you have a wall.”

I used to chase a number on the scale. This time I shifted my mindset, and focused on doing what I can do as perfectly as I can every single day for my diet. The mindset helped keep going forward, even on the lowest days.

Over 650 “perfect” days later, I was 50kg lighter, and I reached my goal.

Focus on the process. Focus on making every day as perfect as you can. And soon…

… you’ll be at your goal.

"Do I need a cheat day?"

No, not at all.

Cheat days aren't a necessity at all to reach your weight goal.

If you feel like you need a cheat day or a cheat meal, go for it. No harm done. Have your "cheat" and get back on track. It's not bad, it's just a break. Kinda like work. If you were working Monday-Sunday with zero breaks, even if you absolutely loved your job there's gonna be a couple of days where you feel like you need a day off.

When you need that day off, take that day off. It's absolutely OK. It's ok to take a break from your diet. Your progress doesn't automatically disappear in thin air when you take a break. The only thing you gotta do is get back on track when you're ready.

The duration of the break doesn't matter as well. Need one day off? Take one day off. Need two? Take two. Need a week? Take a week. As long as you get back on track, you're gonna continue to progress towards your goals.

I'm not a big fan of the term "cheat days", it feels like you're doing something wrong, something you're not supposed to with a kinda guilty feeling. I like the term ''treat'' better. It's ok to have a treat here and there. Not a big deal at all. I mean nobody got skinny off one salad, nobody got fat off one pizza, nobody got bulging abs from one session at the gym.

Losing weight takes time, a lot of time. During that time life is going on in the background. There's bound to be times where life catches up and you need a break. Take it if you need it.

If you're finding yourself needing a treat more often than usual, then it may be a sign that your diet/program is too intense or restrictive. No big deal, make some tweaks and try again. Losing weight is all about consistency. What you can stick to for the long term. The longer you can stick to it, the more results you'll reap.

Personally I don’t restrict myself much so I’ve never needed a “treat”. If I crave something, I’ll go eat it and account for its calories. It’s made my diet easy for me cos I get to eat whatever I want anytime I want, but I do gotta be mindful of the portions.

How often do you have a treat?

Your "why" is VERY important

I've been fat 90% of my life.

For as long as I can remember my whole life is just a series of attempts at dieting & failing. I was forever looking for the latest diet fads and giving them a try. When they didn't yield results within a week I'd already considered quitting.

Everyone made it a point to let me know that I was fat. Strangers pointed & laughed. Friends made fun. Family members are forever telling me "you should lose weight". Doctors would remind me how fat I was, and how there were a lot of potential risks to my health.

Even with all of that, for myself? Honestly I didn't really care.

My attempts to lose weight were more of a form of peer pressure than something that I actually wanted for myself. I think I would have been ok living the rest of my life morbidly obese if there wasn't so much comments about it. While some of the comments did cut deep, it had never cut deep enough for me to want to lose weight THAT badly.

Until this last time. This time I lost over 50kg.

This was the 1st time in over 30 years of being morbidly obese that I actually wanted to lose fat. I wanted it badly. So so so so badly.

Looking back, I can now see that it's where I found my "why".

My "why" was simple. I recognized that in order to have any chance at chasing any dreams I have in the future, I needed health. Without health, dreams stay dreams without a chance of becoming reality. That thought scared me. It made me evaluate where I was in life. I was 123kg, very far from healthy.

With a “why” that meant the world to me, it became easier to get past obstacles. It was no easy road. Before I had a “why” everytime I met an obstacle I gave up. I didn’t see any reason to try hard to get past it. This time? I was willing to do whatever it takes to get past it all obstacles.

Your “why” could be anything. It could be to look better. To be stronger. To be healthier. To compete. Anything at all. But it needs to be something you actually really want.

With a firm “why” it makes getting back track easier. And getting back on track whenever you mess up? That’s everything.

What’s your current “why”?

The Theory of 0.01

Losing 0.01kg every single day, means in one year you would have lost 3.65kg. Permanently.

The theory of 0.01 is something I came up with to explain the impact of consistency.
I guess in a way, it's also a test. What does it take to lose 0.01kg? Not much at all. A 10 second walk? One sit-up? One less bite of a donut? One less piece of candy?

I think part of losing weight is being ultra honest with yourself.

If you're not willing to make the effort to lose 0.01kg every single day, do you really want to lose weight? I mean it's okay if the answer is no. I think I lived that lie for the longest time. During my morbidly obese days I knew I had to lose weight, people told me I had to lose weight, doctors told me I had to lose weight yet honestly...

.. I couldn't care less.

I do feel this time, this one time that I lost over 50kg is the only time I truly deep down into my gut wanted to lose weight, and was willing to do anything for it.

The theory is simple. If you lose 0.01kg every single day over a year you would have lost 3.65kg. Doesn't seem a lot, but the effort it takes to lose 0.01kg? Absolutely minimum. For absolute minimum effort, 3.65kg (8lbs) is pretty significant. 0.01kg isn't about the exact numbers.

It's about the conscious effort to make a difference every single day.

For me, when broken down like that, goals suddenly feel ultra realistic. In my point of view, the time is gonna pass anyway. Whether you make an effort or not, the day's gonna come it's January 1st 2021, 2022, 2023. Sure it might feel intimidating to plan a complete optimized diet from now till then, but 0.01kg a day? That doesn't require much effort at all.

I battle with self esteem issues everyday. Continuous self doubt. I don't need outside voices telling me I won't make it, I tell myself that everyday. But 0.01? 0.01 is something I can do. It's something I can force myself to do every single day regardless of the voices.

The voices haven't changed that much for 5 years now. But 5 years ago, I was 50kg heavier than I am today.

0.01kg effort. Every single day.

Consistency. It's what really pushes the meter.

"I want to lose weight, I don't know where to begin."

Start here.

1) Eat more whole foods. Start to incorporate more fruits & veggies into all of your snacks and meals. You don't have to fully "eat clean", just start to include more. Whenever you have the choice to choose between a whole food or processed food, choose the whole food.

2) Drink more water. Plain water. Not juices, not coffee, not tea, just water. How much more? Just more. Don't worry about the technicalities. Try to drink more water throughout the day.

3) Be more active. Walk when possible. Stand when possible. Take the stairs when possible. Sure taking the stairs this whole week isn't gonna do much for your weight. But keep that up for a year? For two yours? You bet it makes a difference. A huge difference.

4) Pick up an exercise & do it consistently. Exercise does not mean the gym. It can be anything. A jog, a dance class, a martial arts class, cycling, hiking, wall climbing, yoga, aerobics, anything. Pick your favorite. Make it a thing that you do x times a week.

5) Sleep more. Lack of sleep can cause you to crave for foods you usually don't crave for or be hungry at times you usually aren't hungry. Sleep is the best natural supplement out there. 6-8hrs daily, consistently. It's better than any supplement out there in terms of long term health and weight loss.

6) Strive for consistency, not intensity. Harder is not better. Consistent is better. It's not better to go 100% only to last 3 months and burn out. It's better to go at 20% but last the whole year. Consistency reaps results, and aids sustainability. After all if your goal is to lose weight, I assume you wanna lose it forever. Right?

Losing weight doesn't have to be some complex diet meal plan or some complex exercise routine that you must stick to at all times. It's changing habits one at a time. It's finding the balance between what your body needs and what your heart wants.

Don't know where to start?

Start with those 6 points. Try to keep it up for a whole year. You'll be making more progress than you can imagine with minimal changes.

Are you currently doing all 6 things?

My top 3 “be careful” foods

There have been a couple of traps I have fallen into. Sadly every time I fell it was too late there was no way to take it back. Oh y'know, the type of trap where there happens to be some nuts at home and I start eating by the handful cos "nuts are healthy" right? Or the time where I thought I could eat as much avocado as I wanted cos it's a natural whole food.

That's right! It's still possible to gain weight off "healthy" food. "Healthy" doesn't automatically mean you can just stuff yourself silly. It doesn't mean you should avoid them, no no. It just means you should be mindful when eating them.

Foods like...:

1) Nuts. Every type of nuts. Generally 100g of any type of nuts is around 650 calories. Yep not a typo. 100g is basically 2 to 3 handfuls (my hands) and 650kcal is basically 3 bowls of rice. I remember my teenage years where we'd randomly have a huge bag of nuts at home, and I always loved it cos it meant "snacking on healthy food" which meant that huge bag never lasted more than 3-4 days.

I'm in awe right now math-ing out how many calories that was. And that wasn’t filling AT ALL.

2) Avocado. Oh avocados, how I treated you like any other fruit. I thought you were in the same family as melons because of your color. I thought we were friends cos I thought you were best friends with salad, and salad is so so low in calories (without sauce). But of course not right? And here at home you have to be extra large in size.

Half a normal avocado is about 160ish calories. Some days before I'd have 2 avocados for breakfast cos "why not?". And why not? Cos that's an instant 640kcal! that's like 9 slices of bread!

3) Eggs (with yolk). I was so thrilled to learn that the whole cholesterol issue was a myth, I still couldn't go all out with eggs cos the calorie sneaks up on you. An egg is about 75kcal each. Doesn't sound like much right? I can eat 3 eggs before I form a sentence in my brain and suddenly that's 225kcal. And if I do that again in the afternoon that's 550kcal.

550kcal is like, one hearty bowl of ramen!

What foods get out of control easily for you?

“Can you give me a diet plan?”

I get DMs everyday asking this exact question. I wish I could. I really do. If I could come up with some kind of sustainable meal plan that’s a one size fits all for everyone I would.

But I can’t.

Especially not without knowing anything about you. To build a diet plan I’d have to know a lot more about you, such as:

1) Your favorite foods
2) Foods you don’t like
3) Foods you have easy access to daily
4) Your daily schedule
5) Your goals(beyond a number on the scale)
6) Your cooking skills (if any)
7) Medical details such as allergies
8) Your eating habits, tendencies
9) Your sleep schedule
10) Your exercise schedule
11) Your motivation level
12) How much are you willing to change from your current day to day routine
13) How you deal with change
14) Your relationship with food

And... I’m pretty sure I’m missing a few.

But..! These are all questions you most likely have the answers to for yourself. Having the answers, you could slowly build a diet plan for yourself.

The goal? To eat less, and move more. I know I know that’s simplifying it way too much. But it kinda does boil down to that...

How?

1) Steer towards eating a 80/20 balance. 80% nutrient rich whole foods such as fruits, vegetables and lean meats. And 20% of whatever you want.

2) Pick a physical activity. It could be anything from 5000 steps a day, hiking, dance, yoga to basketball, soccer, gym, running, anything. Choose your favorite, and keep a consistent schedule. Once a week, twice a week, doesn’t matter.

The goal is to be consistent. You can always turn up the frequency and intensity later.

And from there it's really just day in day out. Almost the same thing every single day. Striving to be a little bit better than yesterday each day. And keeping it up for as long as possible. Not weeks, not months, but years. Start as small as you feel comfortable, and work your way up as slow as you need to.

Consistent imperfection will always beat inconsistent perfection.

Always.

“How do I get past a weight loss plateau?”

Whenever I hear that question my first instinct is, “is it really a plateau?”

For some a plateau is when the scale weight isn’t moving at the speed it use to move at before. For others it’s staying at the same weight for 3 days, and for some it’s staying at the same weight for months.

I think the first step to getting past a plateau is to be honest and ask yourself whether it really is a plateau. Personally I define a plateau as my weight staying the same for over 3-4 weeks while I’m doing the exact same things.

Exact. Same. Things.

If there’s been ‘cheat days’ or events here and there I don’t consider it a plateau. I like think of it as breaking even. I worked hard, and went out the celebrate so the ‘damage’ and ‘hard work’ broke even.

But there certainly have been times where I was doing everything right, and my weight just wouldn’t budge.

By definition if you’re not losing weight, then you’re not in a caloric deficit.

So how do you get past it? You gotta create a caloric deficit by either:

1) Eating less. Audit your everyday foods and cut another 100kcal, maintain it for a week and adjust from there.
2) Moving more. Exercise, or more steps, or just simple being more active such as walking, taking the stairs etc.
3) Being mindful of bites, licks, and tastes. They seem harmless but can easily add up.

Plateaus happen naturally and not because you did something wrong, but it’s likely that you lost enough weight that your old caloric deficit is now your maintenance calories.

So the simple answer?

Gotta create that caloric deficit again.

“How do I stay motivated?”

You gotta do something you like.

I think that’s the ultimate answer. I know I know, In the past I’ve said motivation is fleeting, and that it comes and goes, but I’ve been giving this a lot of thought lately and I think it’s possible to get it stay longer.

All of my failed diets in the past during my morbidly obese days, they all had one common theme...

... I hated it.

I’d be lying if I said I was OK with it. The only reason I’d be ok with it is because I was expecting results from it. I sure wasn’t expecting to be on the diet for the rest of my life. I wanted to get what I came for, and get outta there as soon as possible.

So what happened with my latest diet? The one that got me out of morbidly obese territory and into a normal weight within 2 years?

I didn’t hate it.

Yep, I’m being careful with my words. I didn’t hate it. I don’t love it, but I really don’t mind it at all. Many have told me, “oh you have to weigh all your food? And put it into an app? What kind of life is that? I could never live like that...” and they’re right.

Perhaps they can’t, but I can. I really don’t mind weighing food, inputting it into myfitnesspal, reviewing my food on a daily basis and cross checking that with my daily scale weight. I don’t mind it at all. If anything I feel comfortable.

I feel comfortable knowing I’m in full control of my weight. Will this suit you? I have no clue, but if it doesn’t I highly recommend you to not force yourself to like it. I’ve been there before. Trying to force myself to love a particular method because there’s so many testimonies about it, but in the end it was just prolonged misery for me.

So my current take on motivation?

You gotta do something you actually like. Or at the very least something that you don’t hate. That along with being realistic about the journey. Acknowledging that the journey doesn’t end when you hit your weight goal, and understanding that maintaining weight is as much work as losing weight.

I think that helps you to stay motivated.

"Can you suggest a diet for weight loss?"

I'm sorry but, I can't.

I would if I could, but I can’t.

Alright technically I could. I mean I could tell you to go on some ridiculous water fast, or detox or cleanse. And then convince you that the only way get there is to stick to the game plan for at least 14 days. It’s almost guaranteed results. I think somewhere in between is where I charge you a few bucks for the game plan?

But the moment you stop the extreme diet and go back to eating normally all the results suddenly disappear. So you’ll come back to me and ask “What happened?” And I’ll be all like, “well, you went for the standard version, here’s a better version that lasts longer” which in the concoction I add a few squeezes of lemon juice and charged you extra for it.

And that cycle repeats. You yo-yo up and down. And I would have made enough pocket change to eat McDonalds for life.

In all seriousness, I can’t cos I’d need so much more information about you to even point you at a general direction. The best diet isn’t about the exact amounts of food, nutrients, or calories.

It’s about figuring out a menu that you enjoy, which would a mean a higher chance that you stick to it, and the longer you can stick to it the better chance at a consistent caloric deficit or surplus depending on your goals.

It’s about building a relationship with food. Building long term sustainable habits that last a lifetime. It’s not going to happen over night. It’s an ongoing process that could last for years.

I feel the first step you take is to become more mindful and more aware of food. Be mindful of how much you’re eating, when you’re eating, why you’re eating.

Be aware of the different values of food. The difference between half a bowl of rice and a whole banana. You don’t need to know all the little details, but be aware of the similarities and differences.

I believe that in itself, will stir you to make better decisions, which in turn will help you build the best diet for you.